It’s been tough. This past year and a bit has been really tough. I’ve tried to maintain buoyancy and the strength that I’ve inherited from all the females on both sides of my family and sometimes it’s not worked. I feel like there have been more times this year that I’ve been low than I have been happy, which sucks, it really does.
I was trying to think of a blog post today because I haven’t written in a while and – as one of my best friends says – it heals me. Boy have I needed that lately. So as I was trying to decide on what to write today with said friend, I watched a few things that I love and then checked instagram to see a really pretty picture. It made me realise that even though, for me both physically and mentally it’s been tough, the world doesn’t stop. Some may find that incredibly scary but it did just make me think. A really beautiful season is here, all the warm colours are out and there are more chances to snuggle up than there are in summer. For all the stress we go through there are so many things that you can be appreciative of. Sure, they may be quite small things, but they make life so much easier, even if you don’t notice it or if you’re too caught up in your own stress that you don’t acknowledge them. However often you say that you do appreciate the little things in life, maybe you’re not appreciating them enough. Just a little food for thought.
So when I was looking at this picture, I thought about my own that I’ve taken recently. They’re not up to the standard that I used to be at, but they’ve captured the moment of beauty that does truly leave you breathless. You don’t need to have a photographer’s eye to see the way the light hits something perfectly. You definitely don’t need to be an always happy person to see beauty in something. I know from experience that being in a very dark place, it’s hard to see positives in things and that sometimes you can’t see happiness in things you usually would and you can feel like a failure for not being normal. But I also know from being out of that dark place that there is so much you miss when you’re caught up in your own struggles, which is hard for you and the people around you.
The past couple of days were hard for me as I had several things on my mind and I did really lose track of what makes me happy. I reflected on things and realised that as much as I want to, I can’t always be strong or happy, but that’s okay. You’re entitled to have those kind of subdued days, obviously if it’s more serious, then you might want to seek help, but you can’t always expect to go through life with ease. There’s gonna be hard days and you have to just soldier on through them, which is tough but if you have a good support system around you, it’ll made a bit easier.
I don’t know. These are just my thoughts on how I’ve been the past few months/past year and I hope it may be of some help to someone. I certainly don’t want to sound preachy, because that’s the last thing I want to be. I think I just needed to write it out loud, for the sake of my own sanity. I wrote a similar post a few weeks ago, but thought it needed to be reiterated. Sorry for any mistakes too, I’m rather tired today.
So on that note, I’m going to find some crafty projects that I can pass the time with!
See you soon,