A mess

I’m currently surrounded by fabric, books and empty packets of biscuits. Like you do. Today I’ve felt a lot better after the bug and several days of rest, so I’m very happy about that. Plus I’m eating normally again, which improves my mood a lot. The fabric is due to trying to plan Christmas presents, which isn’t going very well. I’ve decided on my cousin’s present but that’s about it. I can’t decide on a lot at the moment, apart from how to package things. Not helpful if you have nothing to package!

Aside from that I was sorting out my bookshelf and have gotten rid of quite a few books and also managed to give some to my friends. 🙂 I always hate letting books go, but if they’re not useful to me then I probably shouldn’t hoard them! I already hoard too many things anyway. My bookshelves look a lot neater now though, so maybe I’ll actually read the books on the shelves. Maybe.

Today I also kind of decided that I really do need a break from social media. One of my friends has been telling me this for three weeks (which he probably takes great delight in) and I think I’m finally ready to do so. It doesn’t do my anxiety any good and I need to be a bit selfish for once. I spend a lot of my time putting all my energy into people who don’t do the same. Not that that’s a reflection on them, it’s just with lack of energy it sounds a lot worse than it is. I need to focus on recharging my batteries because boy do I need it. I think I’m half asleep while writing this . . . With that said, I’ll still be on here (as it’s not a very interactive thing) and I will be reachable anyway, to those of my friends that think they can’t contact me in an emergency. I’ll probably also be writing letters as I want to get back into that. I kind of worry about it, that people think it’s something they’ve done or just plain misunderstand, but no. It’s just something I need to do otherwise I’ll crash and burn, which I really don’t want after such hard work to get me where I am today. To be the person that they got to know. Living with M.E for as long as I have prepares me for breaks and I just hope people stick around and understand.

Wow that turned kind of deep, didn’t it? Sorry about that. There’s currently a big storm outside, which is quite nice as we haven’t had one for a little while. Hopefully it’ll do the grass and plants some good, they’ve been looking kind of sorry for themselves. It’s also been quite chilly, so hopefully there are a few more good days before autumn/winter fully kick in!

Well, this was a kind of weird post. Just like my mind at the moment. I think you could probably tell anyway as the quality of my posts have been slipping a lot, I am aware.
See you all soon, with something more cheery  I hope.
Jess x
Edited to add: I thought I’d add a song that I’ve been playing a lot lately. Ties in the post a lot 🙂


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