That time of year

Hiya! So, like it says in the title, it’s that time of year where I write a lengthy blog that probably doesn’t make much sense about M.E. Here are the links to the previous years:
May 2012
May 2013
Today I’m going to write about life with M.E. So not as M.E focused as the last two posts, but still hopefully good enough to give you an idea of what it’s like.

As you’re probably aware, I’ve recently had a relapse. Slightly (okay, a lot) overdid it after staying at my nan and grampy’s then venturing out with the neighbours. I, of course, haven’t been quite right since last year (wonder why) so a big (well, larger than past ones) relapse like this was to be expected. I don’t regret any of it, though. I’ve probably said that numerous times, but it’s true. I really don’t.

Something I’ve learnt on my M.E journey, is that you really do have to take life as it comes. I got told it when I was first diagnosed and I never listened. I didn’t think life would ever be the way I wanted and that it wouldn’t get any better. How wrong I was. Sure, life has definitely changed but so many good things have happened.

When I was first diagnosed, I was extremely poorly and very isolated. I never thought, back then as a bedbound and petrified 11-year-old, that one day I’d go to a really big rock festival. I also never thought that I’d have many friends, yet I have found my pal, and three other people who I consider my close friends. I never imagined that one day I’d have cards out, with my designs on. Things that I had done as a child, like going out places with my family, were considered unreachable.

What I’m trying to say, is that there are milestones everyday. No matter how small they are. I’ve had to rely on a wheelchair for most outings as my legs cannot support me properly after this relapse. Yesterday I didn’t need that. I went to the library and managed to walk around a little bit to find the book I wanted to read. That meant so much to me to be able to walk, to go where I wanted, without worrying about someone being in the way, or having to tell my driver (also known as dad) where to put me.

But those moments, however small (or big, depending who you ask) they are, I achieved them. They are worth pain and exhaustion, to have a taste of so-called normality. I can’t say it’s all positives, that would be ridiculous. There are days where I do get down, because I can’t do some things that I want to. There are days where I wish I could sleep the relapse off, it were possible. I try not to listen to that too much, as it isn’t worth the energy.

So, throughout this relapse, I’ve learnt another thing. Enjoy the little moments. I always feel so happy when I achieve little things, like walking around a little shop with mum, or going to the duck pond with dad. I never used to feel satisfied with these things, they always seemed so unimportant when my dreams were to go to LA and visit Sunset Boulevard. Now, they mean a lot to me. Sometimes we need a reality check to appreciate stuff.

So, that comes to the end of this year’s post. Sorry if it’s a bit rambly, my brain isn’t concentrating right now. As always, I link to this site for some basic information, so hopefully that helps to explain what I can’t.

Thank you for reading this.
Jess x


4 thoughts on “That time of year

  1. Pingback: Finally getting somewhere | Rose Vampire

  2. Such a thoughtful post Jess. And we totally agree with your Mum, we too are extremely proud of how you deal with all that M.E. throws at you. You are an example to us all. Fondest love always. Xxx

  3. Pingback: Unsteady | Rose Vampire

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