Do you remember me?

I didn’t know what to categorise this as so it’s under both life and home ed.

Earlier this morning I was watching videos of my old secondary school’s leavers videos (I couldn’t find my form one so I guess that’s good?) and laughing to myself at how ridiculous they are. But I continued a thought I had last night, do they remember me? I don’t mean this in an attention seeking way or anything like that, I just wonder if they do vaguely remember this Jess person. Both teachers and students. It’s kind of an odd question, I wasn’t there for long enough to establish myself as a member of the school and when I did go back in Year 8, it was only for half an hour for a few Thursdays. I only mixed with other students (outside of my form) twice on the latter occasions, so they probably wouldn’t know what was going on.

It’s funny really, I remember nearly everything about them – the primary school ones, at least – and looking at those leavers videos made me realise they really haven’t changed all that much, which amuses me. I’ve met people from school through twitter and on Facebook, and kept in touch with probably two from primary, so it’s not like I’m missing out or anything, just a wondering.

I wonder if the friend that I didn’t get on with at all through primary, but pulled through and was one of my best friends when I just got diagnosed with M.E. remembers me. I wonder if the teachers remember that weird girl who was only there for one and a half days. I certainly remember them.

I don’t know, it seems creepy the way I’ve put it but I’m not very good with words. xD It just seems weird to me that I can tell you something they did in primary school or on the first day at secondary and they probably couldn’t tell you why I disappeared. I remember them asking about me a bit when I wasn’t at school anymore but then they drifted away. I’m perfectly happy with that concept, I myself have drifted away from old friends from my first primary school but it just feels weird to see them on a video and not be there with them, watching the friends grow up and go to sixth form/college.

It’s a strange world we live in, eh? I don’t want people to think I’m sad at not being with them (Although I was a couple of weeks ago. That is life), it’s just a weird moment I thought of last night. This quote comes to mind when I think about the teachers and the friends that abandoned me because they couldn’t deal with me being ill:
I just want to let them know they didn't break me

On that note, I’m going to stop my brain from over thinking about the past and look forward. For example panic about what the hell I’m going to do with my hair (I’m not vain. I just panic when I have to go to the hairdressers. xD).
Hope I didn’t bore you all with my strange ramblings!
Jess x

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One thought on “Do you remember me?

  1. I know what you mean about this, actually I had this thought this morning. I’m now back in school but it’s a different one (I was only in secondary for a term, but I liked the new school). I’m seeing all the people I used to be best friends with, and one of them just looks at me like I’m a stranger. I’m like, WE WERE BEST FRIENDS, WE HAD SLEEPOVERS AND TOLD SECRETS AND MADE UP AMAZING GAMES! It’s really strange, to think that even though I remember everything so carefully because I had to cling to it, they’ve probably just forgotten.
    Urgh, life! 😉

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